Bibles, coffins and other requests

As sojourners in Malawi, we are getting used to requests for practical assistance. They are one of the most frequent examples of our differing cultures. Malawi has been our home for 9 months now and yet these requests remind us that we’re from elsewhere.

When it comes to financial giving, our frugal Scottish heritage tells us to be cautious. To share resources wisely where they will truly help and not hurt. Our culture also makes us suspicious of the motives of those who ask for money, particularly from those we do not know.

Over time we are coming to learn more about our host culture. It thrives on interdependence, where friends, neighbours and family draw on each other’s resources, sometimes without even asking. There is rarely an excess of funds and so no fall-back for unexpected events or even to draw on for larger expected costs like school fees. Like any country, there is no one fiscal rule for all though and Malawi has its wealthy as well as its poor.

We try to respond to each request on its own merits, but at the same time be consistent and fair. This only reminds us that we are not able to fully understand, or fit to judge, the individuals or their requests.

This blog is prompted by two requests this week and the conversation that followed between Jacqueline and me.

“Do you have Good News?” our guard, Wiseman, asked. I searched my memory for some clue as to what he could have been referring, replaying previous conversations. Was I supposed to have done something? Was today his payday?

“The Bible” he went on “I like the Good News version.” The penny dropped. Our guards have a fair amount of spare time during their shifts during which they both like to read. Our other guard, Amos, read a variety of leaflets and pamphlets and so, knowing he goes to church, we asked if he owned a Bible. He said no and so we bought one for him. Word had spread to Wiseman and so he was making his request.

Wiseman was kind enough to tell us the language and translation he wished. Saving us from the cultural faux pas we committed with Amos in assuming he’d want the local language translation.

Earlier the same day, Kettie and Felix, our housekeeper and gardener had to return home suddenly following the death of their 12-year-old nephew from malaria. As they left, In truly British form Jacqueline said ‘let us know if we can do anything’. A call came later that day to ask if we could help with the purchase of a coffin, around £45 and about 6 weeks wages for the average Malawian.

Funeral culture and protocol probably deserve a blog of their own. However, it’s worth noting that as well as being widely attended they are also widely resourced. Those who are close will each give a little money or food to show hospitality to mourners. The family will travel and may stay with the bereaved for a number of days and will need to be fed. As such, funerals are an expensive business and can be a burden beyond the contributions offered.

We conferred and agreed to help. I went to hand over the money and also, in awkward British fashion, offered to do anything else I could. After a short while of ferrying people in the car and following the wrong funeral party to the mortuary, I was becoming more of a burden than a help, so I left them to their arrangements.

As we traveled, Felix explained how his brother had left his government job with a small pension and was unable to support his family let alone cover the cost of the funeral. Felix and Kettie were covering the obligatory hospitality and were considering a loan to pay for the coffin before they asked us.

We realize that when handling requests we try and find the appropriate place between our culture and the local culture. The balance between being helpful and not being taken for granted. The trade-off between offering assistance but not fostering dependence.

Then, when requested for a Bible or a coffin for a child, we barely hesitated. While we queried the practicality of the requests, the right response was always apparent.

All things considered, the culture that mattered was our shared Christian culture, not the Scottish or Malawian. While some of our concerns might be valid and we need to be wise in expressing Christian care, the culture that should prevail is the one we learn from Jesus. That may well mean the appropriate response might be to say no or offer support in a different way.

He associated with the corrupt. He spent time with the unloved and, from the outside, unlovely. He shared His table with those who the ‘respectable’ would absolutely exclude. The measures by which we evaluate, consciously or otherwise, who and how to help are turned upside down in Jesus. In fact, the who and the how are irrelevant in comparison to the why.

The who doesn’t matter because the giver and receiver are both made in the image of God. The how doesn’t matter because every good gift comes from Him, if anything we’re just passing it on. But the why matters greatly, because it is in that that we are choosing to be like Jesus and saying that our culture should be the one we find through Him.

Applying this in every situation seems very unlikely, but it’s a challenge and an encouragement to see how we are shaped and changed through every request.